Stress, Anxiety, and Nervousness | Their Real Definitions and How To Handle Them... PART ONE

The words STRESSED, ANXIOUS, and NERVOUS are used interchangeably in modern vernacular without much insight into what they actually mean or when you actually feel which...

We are going to clear up the confusion.

Today is part 1 of a 3-part mini series to distinguish between the three uncomfortable experiences in order to help you become more aware of what you are really feeling.

The ability to differentiate between the three experiences will empower you to seek more targeted and appropriate support for that specific discomfort. Who wouldn't want to make stress relief easier?

In today's episode, we explore the real definition of Stress, and how the experience of stress is actually the combination of some kind of pressure or strain and the physiological response we typically associate with anxiety.

The inclusion of the pressure stimulus makes stress feel so much larger and heavier. The physical experience is different than anxiety as a result, and thus the way to relieve that experience will be different.

How do you know that you are feeling stressed?


Are you ready to get to know your stress for real and design ways to relieve it? Schedule your free session by clicking this button:

How To Change Your Life | The Difference Between Making A Change and Growing As A Person...

I meet a lot of people who know that they want to change something about their lives but they either don't know what it is or how to do it.

They get hung up on this word "change" because it can be small things - like switching up what you have for lunch - or big things - like changing your career or moving across the country. Either way, change can still be elusive and ambiguous, which is often why people do not do anything about it.

Those people ask for help when it becomes a real crisis of some kind or starts to unavoidably disrupt their daily lives, but they still don't know what change they need to make or how to make it.

That's where the idea of growth comes in.

We all want to grow. Human beings have to feel like we are making some form of progress in order to feel like we are evolving and that we will continue to survive.

While change lives in the mind on the intellectual level, growth lives in the heart on the emotional.

The real question is: In what part of you or your life do you want to grow, improve, or develop?

In what area of your life do you feel held back, trapped, or tied down in some way?

I want to know what your growth goals are! Tell me by clicking this link and scheduling a free conversation with me:

Is Your Ego A Good Thing? How to balance your ego and your true self for a fulfilling life

Raise your hand if you know people with a big ego...

Those people who you can't stand to be around because they are so self-absorbed. Those are people who spend way too much relying on their ego. That's why we call it an ego boost...it can get inflated.

The truth is that we all need at least a little bit of ego because it is the part of our minds that keep us aware of our relationships to daily life, our interactions therein, and our role as a human being amongst human beings on the planet. The ego is our connection to the outside world.

But too much of it is a bad thing, as we know from our arrogant coworkers and family members.

This week I explore how we can balance the use of our ego and our authentic true selves in order to create a sustainably fulfilling life.

If you'd like to discuss how to create this balance in your own life FOR FREE:

Special vs. Unique | How to stand out in a world of "Special" people...

We are not special. Sorry to burst everyone’s bubble.

We are unique, but we are not special.

It is cool and special that we exist in the universe, but we have a crushing desire for more specialness these days in order to feel like we as individuals are somehow more special in the universe.

We aren’t, though.

That’s just our deep desire to be good enough and worthy to earn some kind of “special” acknowledgement.

Each of us, however, is unique.

The problem is that NOBODY KNOW WHAT MAKES THEM UNIQUE.

I suggest a simple mindset shift: instead of focusing on your surface-level strengths and skills that you want people to see and which make you feel SPECIAL (which, let’s be real, a lot of other people possess), consider what is specific about the way you behave and talk and do things that allows you to be good at those things.

What specific characteristics about you make you particularly skilled in day to day tasks?

If you can answer this question and dig a little deeper than the surface where a lot of others steal your spotlight, you will be able to label a skillset that only you possess…

Not only that, it is a unique skill that can be applied to every area of your life as opposed to a skill that is only useful in one setting like the office or the gym.

Let's do it together!

To define what makes you unique in the universe in as little as 20 minutes - for FREE - click here:

The Power of External Expression | How to design what you want to share with the world...

The third and final section of the Narrative Triad is External Expression. Quite simply, External Expression is anything that is communicated to the world outside of you - most often verbally. This could be as small as a casual conversation with a friend and as large as speaking to an audience of thousands of people.

This is the final phase because it relies on how you show up in the world (visual story) and your daily self-talk (internal narrative). The state of those two determines the way you actively express yourself to the world.

Because all three are so tightly related to each other, the proper alignment of all three is crucial if you want to live a fulfilling life.

Sadly, we can all relate to a negative alignment: when you don't feel good about how you look or enthusiastic about where you are or what you are doing that you begin to be hard on yourself, criticize your ability to have a good day, which leads you talk with less energy, avoid social interactions, and lose rewarding opportunities.

Luckily, positive alignment is possible: when you have strong self-awareness and self-acceptance and enjoy what you do, you will speak with more compassion and playfulness to yourself, which will give you much more energy and relief in social situations when you must express yourself.

The triad cycles continually all day every day, over minutes and hours, all the time. Hence why this is a practice. A lifestyle. But one that is healthy and rewarding.

Question for you: what do you think is the condition of your triad? Even though all three aspects are inextricably linked, on which one do you feel like you most often get hung up?

If you can identify that, you will be able to zoom in on it and target what needs to be addressed in order to smooth out the cycle and initiate a more positive version.

Are you ready to begin?

To start defining and designing your own Narrative Triad for FREE, click here:

The Gift And Curse Of Self Talk: How to rewrite your internal narrative and change your life...

Deep inside our own minds we are always talking to ourselves. Telling ourselves how we are doing, how we look, how we compare to others, and how we feel. Sadly that conversation is super negative and disheartening. We never feel like we are good enough and we continually tell ourselves that.

The internal narrative that gets reinforced affects EVERYTHING: our interactions, relationships, jobs, ambitions, and confidence every day of our lives.

We develop beliefs about ourselves based on the false expectations I discussed last week, and those beliefs inspire the internal narrative that only perpetuates the beliefs and leads us to behave in ways that reinforce the self-talk even further.

And around and around it goes.

But there is a way out.

Today's video talks about the first step you can take right now to own your self-talk and rewrite your internal narrative....and why it is important for your health...

If you are ready to start rewriting your own self-talk and live a happier life FOR FREE, click below and claim your breakthrough:

Psychological Freedom | The real definition of freedom and how to achieve yours TODAY...

FREEDOM is way overused in the mental health and coaching industries. It is often sold as the end all - be all of therapy or personal growth. In reality, though, it is only the beginning...

Personal freedom is the result of recognizing the false expectations we have believed all of our lives and taking ownership of the unnecessary pressure and stress we created for ourselves as a result of pursuing those expectations.

Once you understand that the expectations are made up, all pressure in your life is released. You don't have to do things a certain way. You have the opportunity to do whatever you want.

In this way, Freedom is not the end-goal. It is just the first step because achieving it offers you the opportunity to embrace it and subsequently do something with it. The opportunity to finally live life on your own terms

Are you ready to eliminate your own brutal expectations and achieve personal freedom?

Click this button to schedule your free breakthrough:

The Importance Of Accepting Yourself Before You Can Impact The World

It is common to prioritize focusing on others before yourself. The positive version of it is in acts of service, while the negative is when we believe what people say about us or worry about what people think about us.

Though the former is positive, neither actually draws any attention to oneself, the most important person.

In my third conversation with Collin Morris, creator of the ZION 2.0 podcast, we discuss why it is important to focus on yourself first before you can effectively serve others or the world beyond yourself as well as concepts of human development in modern society.

To learn more about Collin and listen to his awesome podcast, visit https://www.zionpod.me/

To hear my interview on Collin's podcast, click here: http://bit.ly/links-content

Don't forget to subscribe to my channel for a new video every week!

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Also, if you are ready to discuss the obstacles to your self-acceptance with me FOR FREE:

The One Mindset You Need To Handle Uncertainty | feat. Collin Morris, Part Two

How do you handle uncertainty?

Are you like so many others in the world who freak out, shy away, and simply cannot deal with uncertainty?

Fear of the unknown is such a well known fear for a reason. People cannot handle not knowing what might happen in the future. Unfortunately for those people, uncertainty is an unavoidable part of life. In fact, humans have a deep-rooted need for uncertainty because it brings them variety and new learning opportunities that help them grow.

So what if you could just embrace uncertainty, welcome it in your life as something you know won't go away? How could you do that?

All that and more in today's video, the second of a series of conversations with Collin Morris, creator of the super cool podcast and brand entitled ZION 2.0 in which he converses with guests of various backgrounds and expertises about the subjects of human development, psychology, and preparing for a successful future.

Collin embraced uncertainty in a big way when he decided to go full time with his brand. Along with so many others in the world, I can relate to this dramatic leap into the unknown.

To learn more about Collin and listen to his awesome podcast, visit https://www.zionpod.me/

To hear my interview on Collin's podcast, click here: http://bit.ly/links-content

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Are you ready to talk about your own fear of uncertainty and how you can face it in your life?

Click below to talk about it with me FOR FREE!

How To Be A Respected Expert While Continuing To Learn And Grow | with Collin Morris, Part One

Are you an expert?

Do you know any experts?

What might you be an expert in?

If you are an expert, how can you continue learning and stay an expert?

All that and more in today's video, the first of a series of conversations with Collin Morris, creator of the super cool podcast and brand entitled ZION 2.0 in which he converses with guests of various backgrounds - and expertises - about the subjects of human development, psychology, and preparing for a successful future.

Collin is the perfect example of an expert who never stops learning. I love every conversation I have with him, and I am excited for you all to learn from him as well.

To learn more about Collin and his podcast, visit https://www.zionpod.me/

To hear my interview on Collin's podcast, click here: http://bit.ly/links-content

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Also, if you are ready to talk about ways to use experts, learning, and conversation to free you from whatever obstacles you are facing in your life, click on this link and schedule your free session: http://bit.ly/links-content

How To Show Your Authentic Self: Visual Story

SPOILER ALERT: I talk about me in this video...and my beard. But mainly I talk about how your body language, facial expressions, and physical appearance (i.e. clothing) says a whole lot about you and how an interaction is going to go...even BEFORE you start talking to anyone.

It is called your Visual Story, and it is the first part of a concept called the Narrative Triad made of three components that, when aligned, allow you to be the most authentic and directed version of yourself.

What do you think of this topic?

What does your "visual story" say about you on a daily basis?

Share in the comments!

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Do you wonder what story you tell the world on a daily basis? Click the button at the top of this page to chat with me about your visual story, what it says about you, and how you can put your best impression forward...

Does Your Job Title Define Who You Are? Tips to stop relying on this identity...

How many people do you know settle for a job because they like the clarity about them that a job title provides? Job titles only say a fraction of who you are but so many of us hide behind them like a security cloak so that we can tell people what we are with ease.

The problem is that we then attach ourselves to that identity and rely so heavily on the label to define who we are and what we are all about that we simply blend in with everyone else.

As with everything, the underlying issue is fear. We are afraid of NOT BEING DEFINED. We crave definition so that we feel like we are something in this world or that we might be fulfilling society's definition of success.

It turns out you are so much more than your job title. If you want people to really know how powerful you are, tell them more about why you do the work you do instead of the title of that work.

Do you agree? Share your comments!

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Do you want to destroy your need for identity and allow your life's purpose to do the talking?

Click the BUTTON in the top right corner of this page to chat with me about who you think you are right now, and what you can do to create lasting self-confidence in who you REALLY are…

[VIDEO] The Two Kinds Of Home | In What Condition Is Your Internal Home?

Home is where is the heart is" is a common saying that you'll see on wall decor, but it has a deep double meaning.

Home can mean the physical geographical place in which you live or where you grew up, but a second kind of home is internal.  It is the consistent space of personal awareness and "personality" on which we can all fall back but also a place with which we all try to stay closely connected.

Whichever home is most important to you, it should always offer a sense of comfort and repose.

Homework questions:

  1. Imagine your internal home as a physical space. In what current condition is your emotional home?

  2. What comes to mind when someone asks "where is home?" How do you answer them? What thoughts immediately arise?

Share your answers in the comments!

Do you want to define and explore your internal home? Click the button below to chat with me about the state of your internal home and what you can do right now to strengthen it…

[VIDEO] Why Hope Is Harmful And Faith Is Fantastic

Hope is not a bad thing. It motivates people and it means people have something for which they are striving. But hope, unfortunately means that we give away our responsibility to make that thing happen. We hope that it will be granted to us in some way.

This is where faith comes in.

I do not mean faith in the religious sense; rather, I mean faith as a kind of hope that also includes self-trust and a level of self-confidence that the goal you pursue can be achieved with your participation.

Two questions:

1. What are you currently hoping for, or what have you hoped for recently?

2. What skills or talents or knowledge do you already have that could be employed toward reaching whatever it is that you have been hoping for?

Share your answers in the comments!

[VIDEO] What Is Self-Accountability And Why Is It Important?

This video is about accountability. Not just the kind we get from bosses or friends reminding us to get things done, but instead the accountability that we can create within ourselves any time we want and how to create it for yourself.

How do you stay accountable? What are ways that you get excited about a goal and remain excited to pursue that goal in the process?

Two questions to answer:

1. Why is your X goal even a goal? Why does it matter to you to achieve?

2. What needs to be in place while you pursue that goal to ensure that you remain motivated and excited to continue pursuing it? Is it a support system? A new time management tool? Maybe a competitive business partner to push you?

Think about a goal that you are clear about in your life - or a change you want to make - and share your answers to the above questions in the comments section!

"That Guy Is Insane!": How To Accept Your Own Feelings And Stop Judging Others

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Crazy is defined as “mentally deranged, especially presented in a wild or aggressive way.”

Deranged means “mad or insane”

(There is a loose overlap there because we can associate "mad" with presentations of wildness and aggression, so let us focus on Insane instead.)

Insane is defined as "in a state of mind which prevents normal perception, behavior, or social interaction, or seriously mentally ill."

Mmm okay, now we are getting somewhere. 


Just for fun, let us go back to the beginning and think of a common synonym to how we use the word Crazy:  Nuts. Nuts is defined as "insane". That is all. And that definition is presented online before any consideration of the plural form of the healthy food snack that grows on a plant. 


We have so distorted the use of the English language over the years that we use so many different terms to describe things that succeed more in producing drama about the subject than describing the subject as it is in basic terms for the audience to understand. 


Prime example: when we are describing something that was incredible, spectacular, or wonderful, we often use the word Unbelievable. Unbelievable is defined as "so great or extreme as to be difficult to believe" or "UNLIKELY TO BE TRUE". But if we just witnessed something that was great and we describe it in a way that means it is unlikely to be true, then we are lying to our audience. 


Sensitive Vocabulary


The words presented up top were chosen because by definition they are associated with mental illness but they have been used in modern vernacular to describe so many other things that their connection to mental health has been derailed. 


Consideration must be returned.


Now, I am not referring to when you say "Ahhh that movie was crazy!" or "that touchdown was insane" even though those are classic examples of the words' ubiquity. I am referring to when we use them to make a judgmental comment about another person who may seem like they are in a less fortunate situation than you are. 


Examples of this are "That guy is nuts..." or "Did you see her? She looked crazy!", used in such a way that assesses something about the way someone is. 


We take it upon ourselves to determine that person's identity...


Security blanket


So what is a judgment?


Other than bonding with your besties via bashing on someone else's behavior, the reason for judgments has a much more personal purpose.  Here is what happens:

  1. We witness somebody behaving in a way that we interpret as unusual, unfamiliar, or unexpected because it defies our overly routined template of daily life events

  2. We experience an emotional reaction to the unexpected event (perhaps fear, sadness, nervousness, or annoyance, maybe?) 

  3. Our emotional reaction is uncomfortable. 

  4. We look for someone / something outside of us on to whom / which we can displace our uncomfortable feelings. 

  5. We target the source of the unexpected event and create a story about that person to blame them for causing your discomfort. 


By projecting this judgment on to someone else's character, we suppress our real feelings and ignore our own pain. 


With each judgment, the suppression is strengthened and you get really good at ignoring your inner pain and pushing it out on to someone else. As a result, you get further and further away from your own emotional freedom...which leads to mental health issues. 


I cannot give you all the blame, though. It is a protective mechanism by which we can avoid pain. There is something basically evolutionary about that, but the benefit is short term. Just because you sweep the mess under the rug, it is still under the rug and it will eventually spill out.


The sad irony about judging others is that, in doing so, we identify what is "wrong" with someone or what needs to be "fixed" as a way to neglect what we are struggling with, even something that you have in common with those people you are judging.


Get over yourself


We all experience emotional discomfort throughout every day of the week. It is a guarantee. So why do we try so hard to cover it up from each other?


Why can't we team up on all of our pain and support each other instead of ostracizing those people who may actually know what you are going through?


Try it yourself, I dare you. 


Next time you experience some discomfort from someone else's unexpected behavior and you jump to judge their emotional / mental state, what are you feeling inside? 


Contact someone you trust and explain to them what just happened: the event + your emotional reaction.


See what they say. 


Based on their response, you will know if you can trust them with your honesty and emotional vulnerability...

Check Your Ego At The Door. We All Have Psychological Disorders...

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Whether or not you are a comic book fan, I am sure that you have heard of Batman and The Joker. 


I am a big fan, so I am extra excited for the stand-alone Joker movie that is coming out this fall. In the trailer for the new movie, there is a scene where the main character is writing jokes on a notepad. His handwriting starts to become more disorderly, more childlike. Instead of another joke, he proceeded to write this statement:

"The worst part about having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don't."


Even with such increased awareness about mental health around the world, there is still such a huge stigma against it. Similar to the Joker's world, the experience of psychological disorder faces so much intolerance. We are stuck thinking that because someone is going through something that he or she has trouble dealing with or is experiencing life in a way that is not "common", that person is strange, somehow "lesser than", and unworthy of our compassion. 


The stigma shows its ugly head in two polarized situations:

  1. When someone's symptoms are publicly visible and make people feel uncomfortable 

  2. When someone's symptoms are not taken seriously and are brushed off 


In both cases, the individual undergoing psychological distress is not offered any support or, more importantly, any compassion.

Human Tendencies

They are not shown any compassion because we humans are uncomfortable with anything that is unusual and defies our normal, overly routined existence. 


We get trained to fear what we do not understand.

When we do not understand something, we find it strange.  Something that is strange is unpredictable. We are fearful of unpredictable things or people because we do not know enough about those things or people for us to trust them. This lack of trust builds a wall between you and the other person, blocking the possibility of you offering positive support. 


When that wall is up, we instead avoid the person altogether (#1) or we deflect the subject with detached responses like "It'll be okay" and "shake it off. You're allright" (#2). 

Biases are obstacles

If some kind of compassion is established for the individual experiencing psychological distress, the next factor that dissuades a lot of us from supporting the person is the fact that it requires effort and energy that we are not used to using. Taking dedicated time to sit with the person and be present for whatever they are experiencing or wish to talk about is not an everyday activity unless you work in the mental health industry. As such, it takes extra push for a lot of people to be that support person. 

This apprehension arises from our priorities. Priorities come from our biases.


When we feel like taking time to support someone that we had not scheduled into our day is arduous, it means that we would rather be doing something else. 


If the other person is a friend, do we only care about them so much that emotional support beyond day-to-day interactions is way beyond your role as a friend? 

Or do you care about this friend but you do not think mental health issues are real, valid, or serious enough to take the time to support?


We are all slaves to the biases we have learned over time, so you may very well have been taught at one point to avoid the topic of mental health issues, or to avoid your own when they arise, which informs how you deal with those of others. 

The Inconvenient Truth


Spoiler Alert: WE ALL HAVE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES.

All of us.

Everyone. 

We all do. 

I have.

You have.


We all experience versions of emotional distress all the time in daily life. 


Heavy sadness, grief, or shame = depression

Heightened stress or anxiety = panic

A tendency toward control and keeping things the way you want them = OCD


Ever done hard drugs? Congratulations, you distorted your reality, which is what people who experience schizophrenia go through. 


Emotional distress becomes a diagnosable experience that warrants treatment when it disrupts daily functioning - like inhibiting one's ability to go to work or take care of themselves - or when its presentation poses either a psychological or physical threat to the individual or other people. 


The Bottom Line

Severity of emotional distress varies throughout our lifetimes and is sparked by infinite kinds of triggers, but it is an unavoidable truth that we all experience what society deems as "mental health issues" all the time. 


We are all equally susceptible to such issues anytime, any day, anywhere.


Yes, YOU, the one who is uncomfortable with your mom's bipolar mood, or YOU who are so sick of listening to your friend complain about their anxiety attacks and stress.


You do not need to be the primary support for that person by sitting and listening all the time, but helping them get the support they need is just as impactful. 

All it takes is a little compassion.

When the time comes that you experience a more severe version of emotional distress and you want the support that others have asked of you, you are going to feel foolish for not giving them the compassion that you now wish to receive from them. 

We are all in the same boat together. We all have the same foundational chemistry in our brains that are wired to strive for emotional stability.

This modern world presents challenges to that stability all day long, so not a single one of us is more protected from the effects than anyone else. 

What have you recently felt emotional about?

How To Live In The Present To Achieve Success And Fulfillment

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Mindfulness practices, meditation, and yoga are so trendy right now that the phrase "living in the moment" has become ubiquitous. 


Whether it is someone's goal to live in the moment or someone thinks that they live in the moment and so are setting the intention to continue doing that, the phrase itself has already lost a lot of power by how commonly it is used. 


Here are some real world examples that are relevant to my work of "Living in the moment":


Even though entrepreneurs make long-term vision goals for their company, they often cannot actually plan for anything too far into the future because every day at work is filled with so many risks and so many dynamic challenges. Personally, I can only plan for MAYBE a month ahead of me. Maximum. That is it! The most important thing is what I am working on in the here and now. 


In traditional psychotherapy, the common conception is that you spend years and years talking to a therapist about your past and that is all. As a result, it is often forgotten that people go into therapy in hopes of addressing a very current problem and ameliorating it for the future. Though a good deal of time is spent talking about the past in therapy, a good therapist should always be able to loop it back to what is going on for the client right now in the present.


I could walk you through every single industry and make the same point:  It does not matter what you do, you are always in the present. In this moment. 


So where do people go astray? 


The Thinking Trap

In their thoughts. 


If people spend too much time thinking about their past or dwelling on a single event in their past, then their focus is distracted from what their body is doing in the present. This can lead to rumination and depression.


By the same token, if people spend too much time thinking and dwelling on what might come in the future, they get stuck in massive fear and the fear blocks any productivity in this moment. This can lead to anxiety and panic


The British philosopher Alan Watts talks about everything that happens occurs in the Now. The past is created by events that happened in a past version of the present. He says:


"Things are not explained by the past. Things are explained by what happens now, which creates the past." 


In this way there is a healthy consideration of the past in the present but only as a collection of relevant information to tell us about the present. We are not taught history in school in order to sit all day long thinking about something that happened hundreds of years ago. We learn history in order to affect what we may do in the present. 


Same goes for the future. Thinking too hard about something potential in the future does not serve anything unless we do something in the present to make it so.


The Perfect Balance

Everything that happens always happens in the present. I am writing this NOW. You will be reading it in your NOW. 


If you want something to be different in your life, change will not come on its own in the future, nor did you lose any opportunity to create change in the past. 


Tony Robbins coaches that "all change happens in an instant when we finally commit to making that change."  We can prepare all we want, and the preparation becomes the past. A lot of people deflect personal responsibility and wait for change to happen in the future, but it still will not happen until we choose to make it happen. 


The past is important to understanding who we are and why things are the way they are, and the future is important to have ambition and goals for which to strive, but the only thing that can be controlled and manipulated is the present. 


As a result, the most successful and fulfilled life is lived by striking the perfect balance between what you need to think about from the past and what ambition you have in the future as supportive data points to the experience you are having in the present. 


A client describes this as three friends in a car. The driver is the one living in the present, steering the whole experience onward, the friend in the passenger seat is looking ahead and navigating (informing the future destination) and the passenger in the back has a good view of what is behind the car when needed (looking back to certain events and experiences of the past). 


If the whole group of friends can work together to get the car where they want it to, then the present path for the driver to continue driving becomes easier, clearer, and free of obstacles.


In other words, use the future and the past in appropriate doses to support your success and fulfillment in the present. 


What are you working on right now in your life? 

Does one thing seem most important?

What about the past is relevant to that one thing?

What about the future that this one thing lead to / impact / connect with?