How To Set A New Year's Resolution You Will Actually Keep, Part 2: the WHY

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What do you care enough about to work on and improve in your life this year?


What have you been thinking a lot about and wanting to start? 


Last week we discussed these questions in order to make you think about what you really value in the pursuit of "New Year - New You".

Remember the series of posts I wrote that offered steps to ameliorate your insecurities? 


POP QUIZ: HOW DO YOU THINK INSECURITIES RELATE TO RESOLUTIONS?

I'll give you a hint:  A WHOLE LOT.


Think about this:

Those who wait until a certain date in order to finally set a personal goal and try to make change in their lives need that extra external motivation.

Those who need extra external motivation are not motivated enough on their own.

Those who are not motivated enough on their own are often not confident in the goal they want to pursue.

If they are not confident in the goal, then they are insecure about their ability to work toward that goal on the most basic level.


If that sounds like you, a couple pieces of comfort I can offer are 1) you are not alone, and 2) it is a matter of how you have worded the goal. 


That is all it is. 


Take weight loss, for example. Weight loss resolutions are often based on pressure from someone close to you or from society at large. 

Say you want to lose 50 pounds, but in reality you do not care enough to actually do it. Your spouse has made so many annoying comments about your weight that you think maybe you will do something about it just to appease him or her. In this way, you do not feel the urgency of intrinsic motivation to get that real push. 


On the contrary, if you recently had a heart attack and your doctor told you it is because of a certain food you eat and a lack of exercise, and that you were however close to dying, you might just care enough about losing the weight. 

The goal gets worded differently. 


It transforms from "I want to lose 50 pounds" to "I care about being healthy because I do not want to have another heart attack."


Now you have your Why. 

In the first part of the weight loss example, only an insecurity of being overweight was being addressed. But what happens when you lose that weight? What is the goal then? 


By rewording the motivation of the goal in order to convey WHY you wish to achieve that goal, you blossom the goal up into something much bigger than the initial insecurity or sense of lacking. 


The WHY expands the goal into a lifestyle. Losing 50 pounds ---> having a healthier body to avoid heart attacks and not die. That is a big difference. Instead of just losing 50 pounds, you will end up engaging in a whole lot more that will positively affect your health if your goal is to avoid a heart attack. 


Recap:

Question #1:  What do YOU (not your spouse, not People Magazine, YOU) care enough about to change or improve upon in this new year?

Question #2:  Why does that thing matter to you?  How is that thing unique to you and your life?