Accountability

How My Three Brand Pillars Will Change Your Life

Last week I introduced to you to the three pillars on which my services are based - Awareness, Acceptance, and Accountability - and now I am going to tell you how they can be used to rock your world and change your life.

To start, let us take it back for a second. I am the youngest of three kids. I have been known as the baby, the little prince, the perfect one, the favorite, and some others, but I swear none of those have gone to my head, I swear. 

Did I mention I was the favorite? Anyways...  I got to observe all of my family interactions from day one. All of the questions, the activities, the arguments, and the love. Before I even knew that I was a "person", I was filling up my brain with little notes and observations about personality and motivations. As I grew a consciousness, I began to notice I had biases, interests, and dislikes, and that they began to affect decisions I made. Those interests and decisions led me to set goals and voila! Awareness laid the groundwork for direction. 

My self awareness was built by life events that came with getting a little bit older. Golden example: the terrifying experience of calling the dentist's office that I described a few posts back. When I was little-little and didn't know I had a voice or what a telephone was, someone made the appointment for me. In my example, I had become old enough to know how to use a phone and that that was how appointments got scheduled, but I did not know the right way to schedule one. 

This is the acceptance. The combination of self awareness and more life experiences showed me what I did not know.

I thought that there was a right or wrong way to schedule an appointment with the dentist and plainly did not know how to do it. Even though I panicked before I asked for help, the panic on its own is a form of acceptance - I was panicking that I did not know something!

But then I learned how to do it. I asked for help and called the darn dentist's office. I stuttered my words, but I achieved my goal. And there comes the accountability. As soon I learned how to make a dentist's appointment, I would be expected to do so in the future. Since I now had the new ability to call their office, I bore that privileged responsibility.

Okay, why is he talking about the dentist's office so much? Because it is real life. It is a mundane, every day challenge that someone could face growing up. And it is an example of positive change that my business provides. Sure, I could help you with calling the dentist because I am now an expert, but I also mean applying the three As to not only a business but your personal life as well. 

Lightning round: A RELATIONSHIP YOU ARE IN

  1. Awareness = your emotions for the other person, your capacity for vulnerability, maybe even what you are looking for out of a partner or relationship, and, of course, where you fall short in the connection.
  2. Acceptance = that you are not perfect - SPOILER ALERT - and you do not know everything and that, in your emotional discomfort, you are dating the person with whom you can communicate and ask for help
  3. Accountability = you are dating the person with whom you can communicate and ask for help. Now that you know how to, you can continue to in the future andddddddd boom, the connection gets stronger.

You are welcome. 

Now let's circle back to business. If you are starting a business or have started one and for whatever reason chose to skip over your narrative exploration (shameful), all you have to do is frame your reflection with these three pillars. For example:

  • Awareness = your business idea, your desire to start your own thing, and maybe even the first step to designing your product.
  • Acceptance = that you do not know how to make a business plan, do marketing of any kind, or in what kind of guidance youwant to invest.
  • Accountability = as soon as you do ask for help or receive guidance, you have the responsibility to not only advocate for any help as needed in the future but also follow up on that guidance and do what was advised.

In other words:

  • Awareness = your goal
  • Acceptance = current state / what you need to learn
  • Accountability = learning and taking action

This is why people recruit friends or hire people like me to keep them diligent. Accountability often is most effective when its source is someone or something external to you but, if it is not rooted in a passion that you are aware of, you will not stay motivated or you will veer off in the wrong direction.

One of the defining principles of true narrative is aspiration, and these three As make up the car that drives the aspiration forward. They provide direction. Apply them to your life. Where are you feeling stuck and wanting direction?

These three pillars can be used to provide direction as well as give you a boost of an action plan to pursue a goal in any realm of your life.

Conversations with coworkers, date night, cooking a meal, running a marathon, running a country, starting a business...

Knowledge is power. You cannot get to true Accountability without digging into your self awareness and goals...

...so let's get started.

The 3 Pillars Of My Brand

In both The Tailored Quill and my second company, The Axon Program, apart from my mission statements and value propositions, I assist people with three life-changing elements:

  1. Awareness
  2. Acceptance
  3. Accountability

Boom. There you go. There is a nugget for you. Now go off and thrive with that, if you can. If you want to learn more, keep reading and stay tuned. These will come up a lot. 

See, you cannot have acceptance without awareness, nor accountability without acceptance. There is a logical order to it. Just like the order of the universe, though, the order consists of chaos.

Clients come to me when they are in some inner crisis of ambition. Their external world may seem ordered but inside everything is in total disarray. An unfortunate majority of people in the world wait until the chaos begins to boil over before they reach out beyond themselves for some kind of assistance (see post #2). Even though I wholeheartedly promote the vulnerability it takes to ask for help, I understand that a lot of people do not know how.

No matter what, there is such great awareness and acceptance already there when someone chooses to ask for help. The person is aware that they are stuck, stressed, or helpless and subsequently accepts that they themselves do not have the resource knowledge necessary to ameliorate the tension. 

That is huge! People do not realize how impressive it is that they have that awareness and that they are able to accept that they  do not know something. The reason people do not see how impressive it is is because the sensation of helplessness and the vulnerability needed to ask for help feels TERRIBLE to most people.

I am working with one client now who without fail will give themselves a mini pep talk and then preface a question they are about to ask me, all because the experience of asking for help in any way and showing that open vulnerability has always been severely unfamiliar. It is like the setup routine a professional weightlifter displays before attempting a lift.

Once the stress response subsides and the endorphins sift back in to their blood stream, most people are able to stop and think "Huh, I did that!" and hear me when I tell them how impressive their self awareness in that moment was. 

That is why my work is collaborative. I present the space for you to be safely vulnerable. You take the risk of asking for help. I label how impressive your capacities for awareness and acceptance are. You revel in your new personal glory. We set goals as a team for accountability. Then we repeat. Over and over and over. In every kind of way.

I took a cellular biology course during my sophomore year of college and during one lab session we learned how to run analytical tests of data we had collected. I entered in data, a graph appeared in the report, and I had absolutely no idea what the graph meant. I stared at it for a so long, one eye on the obnoxiously loudly ticking clock on the wall, knowing that I had to understand this one piece if I was going to complete the assignment. As I began to sweat and panic, I felt helpless. 

Then I acknowledged how many times I had stared at the graph in that previous ten minutes and I knew that I did not have the answer. I took in an exasperated breath and asked the TA for help. I recognized her supportive way of guiding me to come up with the answer on my own, and we both relished the epic flood of epiphany that I felt when it all clicked. 

Now translate that to your life at work. What if you have an assignment due at the end of the workday and you are staring at the materials with wide eyes, seeing no where to start? 

What about if you feel stuck in your job and want to change careers but have no idea how to go about it?

What about if you want to start your own company?

We all feel that panic and we are all aware that it is panic. But it is what we do at that moment that determines whether we remain helpless and slip into despair or learn something new and grow. Maybe you have already felt the despair before, so I walk on the wild side: take the same exasperated breath I did and ask someone for help. See what happens.